


Wouldn't Bat an Eye (If You Said You Were Mine)

by aktura



Series: Soulmate For Sure (Love Was Never Like This Before) [2]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Gen, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, bats!, canon compliant AU, could be platonic or romantic, mentions of canon ships, rated T for Dustin's potty mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 19:52:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21463612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aktura/pseuds/aktura
Summary: Hawkins is a nice place to live and all, but it doesn’t have any natural cave systems. This is problematic because Dustin’s got it on pretty good authority that his soulmate loves bats.(It’s his soulmark. The soulmark is the authority).In which your soulmark is not the first word spoken when you meet your soulmate, but rather a sentence from your very first conversation.
Relationships: D'Artagnan "Dart" & Dustin Henderson, Dustin Henderson & Lucas Sinclair, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson
Series: Soulmate For Sure (Love Was Never Like This Before) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547194
Comments: 16
Kudos: 133





	Wouldn't Bat an Eye (If You Said You Were Mine)

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of inspired by [this Tumblr post](https://gravywheels.tumblr.com/post/165066083950/you-know-what-bugs-me-about-soulmate-aus-so-im), but then it got away from me and turned into something completely different.
> 
> Also, this is now the second fic in a series where I dump all my stupid soulmate AUs.
> 
> Title from Donna Summers' _Fascination_.

//

Hawkins is a nice place to live and all, but it doesn’t have any natural cave systems. This is problematic because Dustin’s got it on pretty good authority that his soulmate loves bats.

(It’s his soulmark. The soulmark is the authority. And Dustin will kick anyone who argues, because it can’t get more authoritative than permanent words imprinted onto his skin).

Anyway. Hawkins; no caves or caverns.

Dustin frequents the library instead, reading everything bat related that he can get his hands on; encyclopedias, scientific journals, fucking fun-nature-facts-for-kids picture books. And once his library card’s revoked for exceeding his five book limit (again), he tries to talk his mom into driving him south to explore the caves around Louisville.

“It’ll be like a roadtrip,” he tells her.

“Oh, Dusty,” she says. “It’s good that you want to learn, but sometimes it’s like you put on blinders and can’t see the forest for the trees.”

They’ve been trying out the frank honesty thing lately. Dustin’s not sure he likes it.

//

It would probably have been easier if the Words were just the very first thing you said to someone when you met them. Then Dustin could’ve gone through life introducing himself as “Purple banana toffee bicycle. Hi, I’m Dustin.” His soulmate would’ve been sure to recognize _that_. 

But no, instead Dustin’s expected to be able to hold a fucking conversation about bats in the hope that his soulmate asks him what kind he prefers the first time the two of them speak, and it’s _exhausting_. 

And actually, a lot of people are of the same opinion and just end up dating and marrying whoever they want; Dustin’s mom’s soulmark is in Greek, which Dustin’s dad is definitely _not_ – but then again he left them, so maybe Dustin should stick to brushing up on his bat knowledge.

Anyway. Dustin’s soulmate appears to like bats. Ergo, Dustin needs to be able to hold his own in a conversation on the topic. He needs to be informed and make a good first impression, and maybe get a degree in biology so that he can become a chiropterologist (someone who studies bats, that is), or find a bat convention to attend or— or go live in the fucking woods like a weirdo because where the hell else is he supposed to run into someone passionate about bats?!

“You’re only twelve, honey. Don’t get too worked up about this,” his mom tells him, like she hasn’t spent the past ten years saving up for a Greek cruise.

//

Nancy Wheeler is beautiful.

Dustin speaks to her as often as he can, on the off chance that she’s a closet bat lover.

(It’s been, like, six years since he met her, so she’s probably not, but it doesn’t hurt to keep trying).

Mike and the rest of Dustin’s friends think it’s weird. They don’t know the words scrawled across Dustin’s wrist, just like he doesn’t know theirs; they all wear the customary armbands of the unbonded, even though Dustin sometimes thinks it would just be easier and a lot more efficient to display one’s soulmark openly so that everyone can see which ones match up.

(If he does end up living in the woods, Dustin thinks he’ll probably ditch the band).

So. Yeah. Nancy Wheeler is beautiful, but not a fan of animals in general. 

Dustin’s overflowing with bat trivia, and growing impatient. 

//

In 1983 two things happen:

First, Nancy starts dating Steve Harrington. He’s a rich douchebag and, through what must be some kind of osmosis, manages to turn Nancy into a jerk as well. Dustin’s a bit bummed about that. The only upside is that the two of them don’t end up bonding, judging by the fact that Nancy still wears her armband.

The second thing that happens is that Will walks into the woods and doesn’t come back out. 

It’s Eleven who appears instead. 

She’s magic, but also strangely clueless about the simplest of things. She knows nothing about soulmates, for example, but in the quiet of the Wheelers’ basement she still speaks Mike’s Words. Her own are obliterated, scarred over and covered by a tattoo; none of them will ever know what they said, but there’s no need – Mike and Eleven fixate on each other from the get-go, so it’s kind of a no-brainer.

She helps them save the world and get Will back, and then she vanishes in a flurry of black dust, like she was never there to begin with.

Mike throws his band away after that, much to his parents’ disapproval.

Nancy keeps on wearing hers.

//

Max shows up the following year. 

She’s badass, and pretty, and Dustin might be in love.

Luckily, since Dustin’s managed to get his library privileges back, he’s prepared, armed with more bat trivia than ever before, ready to wow her.

“Vampire bats don’t usually bite people, but when it happens, the bat comes back to feed from the same person the next night,” he tells Lucas as they hunker down outside the arcade, waiting for Max to appear. “They can tell people apart from the way they _breathe_.”

Lucas lowers his binoculars to give him a long-suffering look. “Stop being weird.”

“What? It’s interesting!”

“Dustin. No one thinks that’s interesting.”

Dustin sputters. “Max will! I bet she _loves_ bats. Besides, they’re badass. During the Civil War the troops used to make gun powder out of bat poop.” He pauses for effect. “Gun powder. Out of _bat poop_.”

“Please don’t tell her that,” Lucas says as Max’s brother’s car pulls into the parking lot.

//

Halloween is the perfect opening. Dustin’s gonna lead with an interesting piece of bat trivia, and then he’s going to smoothly segue into asking Max to go trick or treating with him. If all goes to plan, that is.

Lucas insists on tagging along, and normally Dustin would maybe object, but he’s dressed up like a Ghostbuster and feeling slightly out of place since the student body as a whole apparently decided to ignore sacred Halloween tradition. He figures that it might be less weird if there are two Ghostbusters to really drive the theme home.

Max is head deep in her locker when they approach, and she’s got a pretty good poker face; Dustin can’t tell if she genuinely hasn’t noticed their arrival or if she’s pointedly ignoring them as they awkwardly stand there right next to her.

Dustin clears his throat, which finally catches her attention. “Um, hi, Max. I’m Dustin. Fun fact: in Africa, there are small, woolly bats that live in spider webs! Oh, and this, uh, is—”

“I’m Lucas,” Lucas chips in.

Max looks unimpressed, which isn’t a good sign – even worse, she shows no significant reaction to Dustin’s display of bat knowledge.

“Yeah, I know who you are,” she says. “The stalkers.”

Lucas sucks in a startled breath. Dustin’s heart starts to sink.

“We— We weren’t _stalking_ you. We were concerned for your, uh, safety,” Lucas stutters, and Max’s gaze snaps towards him so fast that Dustin thinks she might have been in danger of giving herself whiplash.

Lucas makes a whimpering noise.

Dustin sighs. God dammit.

//

Halloween is a complete bust. 

Mike’s distant and kind of snippy, still obviously upset over Eleven’s disappearance; Will’s having strange episodes, making Dustin’s spider senses tingle and his stomach churn; and, maybe worst of all, Max is acting almost scary-flirty towards Lucas, who doesn’t seem to know what to do with her attention now that he’s actually caught it.

Dustin scowls as he walks up his driveway. Sure, he’s got a bag full of 3 Musketeers to choke his sorrows with, but it still feels kind of hopeless. 

He’s never going to find his soulmate at this rate.

That’s when he hears it; the snarling, followed by a guttural growl. 

The trash can shakes.

And Dustin ends up finding something else instead.

//

Dart is—

Okay, Dustin doesn’t know what Dart is, but he likes nougat. Forget bats; pollywogs are where it’s at.

Only, once Dustin’s raided the library – probably earning himself another ban in the process – he’s not so sure anymore. Dart doesn’t seem to need water, and the heat lamp in Yertle’s terrarium seems to cause him pain; if he’s neither pollywog nor reptile, then—

“I've discovered a new species,” Dustin proudly tells the Party as Dart squirms in the palm of his cupped hand.

Sadly, none of them seem to appreciate just what Dart represents; Will thinks he’s from the Upside Down, and Mike wants to kill him. 

Dustin can’t really blame Dart for growing legs and running off.

//

No one’s around. 

Dart molted and grew even bigger, trashed the terrarium, ate Mews, is currently trapped in Dustin’s storm cellar, and _fucking no one’s around_.

Dustin’s at his wits’ end, because no one is answering their phone, or their radio, and going around to the Wheelers’ turns out to be a giant waste of time.

“Son of a bitch. You know, you’re really no help at all. You know that?” Dustin tells Mr. Wheeler, because at this point he doesn’t really have any shits left to give.

He stomps off, and is just about to grab his bike and try his luck at Lucas’ house when Steve Harrington pulls up in front of the Wheelers’ in his fancy foreign car. 

Dustin breathes a sigh of relief. Steve’s in the know; the guy helped Nancy and Jonathan fight off the Demogorgon at the Byers’ last year, and he has to be, what, seventeen? Eighteen? That’s practically an adult, right?

Dustin could really use an adult right now.

Steve gets out of the car and heads for the Wheelers’ front door, carrying a bunch of red roses and muttering to himself. He appears to be a bit frustrated, but still manages to look so cool with his perfect hair and his nice clothes that it makes Dustin hate him just a little bit. 

“Steve!” Dustin nevertheless calls out, and Steve turns around, looking confused – Dustin wonders if the guy even remembers him, even if it’s only as one of his girlfriend’s younger brother’s friends. “Are those for Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler?”

Steve looks down at the roses. “No,” he says, nonplussed.

“Good.” Dustin grabs the flowers and takes off towards the BMW. 

“Hey!” Steve calls after him. “What the hell?! Hey!”

“Nancy isn’t home,” Dustin tells him. He doesn’t bother to turn around, pretty confident that Steve won’t come after him to try and physically wrestle the flowers out of his hands. Yeah, pretty sure. 

“Where is she?” Steve asks. The guy’s clearly got a one-track mind.

“Doesn’t matter!” Dustin says, feeling slightly exasperated. He yanks the passenger door of the car open. “We have bigger problems than your love life,” he declares, and then, turning back to Steve, he asks, “Do you still have that bat?”

Steve’s eyes widen, and it’s like all the color drains from his face. 

“Bat?” he croaks. “What bat?”

It suddenly occurs to Dustin that he’s never actually had a conversation with Nancy’s douchebag of a boyfriend before. 

“God fucking _dammit_!”

//

Steve still has the bat. 

He has the bat, and a mean swing, and, once the shit really hits the fan, a heart of gold hidden beneath all that douchebaggery. When he pulls off his armband Dustin’s Words are scrawled along the inside of his wrist.

Dustin, in turn, has Steve’s Words, as well as a lifetime’s supply of bat trivia that Steve has no interest whatsoever in hearing; Dustin’s determined to subject him to this wealth of knowledge anyway, for as long as they both shall live.

It’s gonna be _great_.

//


End file.
